I know you have fans in Japan, but how's the response been in Puerto Rico?
I have no following here. Even the little EP I put specifically together for the island didn't do much. I came over to promote it, but one trips not going to do it. Besides that little attempt, I haven't tried. I think one reason is that hip hop isn't too big here. That EP had more dancehall beats to make it more digestible, but I mostly rhyme in English and this is a Spanish-speaking island. If I had a huge marketing machine, it would be different. They all know about bout 50 Cent and Eminem. Rapping in Spanish would help, especially on the underground scene. Even though many people here are bilingual to an extent, they're not enough where they can follow a hip hop song.
How would you describe the relationship between Puerto Ricans on island and on the mainland?
It depends. Many on island have relatives on mainland, so there's more interaction. I see that many want to move to States after frequent visits from relatives or after they've visited. They see economic opportunties. Other folks, who often don't have a lot of family in the States or who haven't traveled a lot, they feel that if you're born in the States, you're not Puerto Rican, your parents are. Where ever you were born is what you are. If you were born
in
France, you were French. I was raised with Puerto Rican pride, but it
was empty. I didn't know a lot of the history and didn't speak Spanish,
which isn't our language anyway. A lot of Puerto Ricans claim all this
pride and nostalgia for the island, but many people here don't even
view them as Puerto Rican, that's where that whole Nuyorican idea came
from, that people are from New York, not Puerto Rican. Even though I
was born in New York, I'm not a Nuyorican. If you put a kitten in an
oven, that doesn't make it a muffin. I'm a Puerto Rican who was born in
New York. Across the board, on the island, if you were born in the
States, you were born "alla fuera," over there. I had a women today ask
me if I came from "alla fuera" and she asked me if I was Puerto Rican,
even though she knew I was. Coming from the United States, we're
definitely not seen as Puerto Rican, even if both parents came from
Puerto Rico. It's like we're mixed children; but that's not a bad
thing. I was exposed to a lot and I love my island, but I'm glad I was
raised somewhere else. There are certain things in the culture that get
ingrained into us that I don't agree with. For example, sometimes when
I've been at someone's house for dinner and got up to help wash dishes,
everyone would say something to me like "leave that to the women."
Never mind that the women already cooked and served all us. They still
look at me like "what's wrong with you?" Even though I'd be a visitor,
it's still gender related; they don't think I'm being a man. I'm glad I
don't think like that. It's like that in the States too, but it's
larger here. Not having grown up on the colony, I think it's been
easier for me to see how come the island is the way that it is and how
we got there. Many people on the island are too close to the situation.
It's like a relationship when everyone else can see the problems except
the people in it. I have the distance to sit back and reflect and
realize that not all of the problems on the island are due to its
people. On the other hand, when I see people do things like throw a can
out the window, it pisses me off that they'd disrespects this beautiful
island. Maybe you need to leave to appreciate it.How'd the restaurant come about since you're so passionate about music?
It happened without trying. Years ago I began catering for people I knew or places I worked. People just liked my cooking. After doing that awhile I did a stand at the Berkeley Farmers' Market. People kept asking me where the restaurant was. After a couple of years of hearing this, I thought about having a place where people could sit any day of the week. That was the basic idea. There's a Puerto Rican community in the Bay and there really isn't a place to eat beyond cooking at home. I felt I could fill a void and make a living off of it. It was never a dream of mine. When it closed after two and a half years, many people said they were sorry I couldn't fulfill my dream, but it was actually easy to let go. Cooking's a passion of mine, but being a restaurant owner was not.
From your vantage point, what was the impact of Sofrito?
It was definitely a gathering place. I ended up meeting distant cousins. That was a common story in the restaurant, when customers would talk and realize they were related or came from the same town. One thing that was surprising was that we thought we knew all the Puerto Ricans in the Bay and we realized how big the community was. We didn't realize how important it was. We figured we'd maybe get 5-10% Puerto Ricans and maybe some other East Coasters or Caribbean folk, but mostly we'd get a general Bay Area crowd. It ended up being a reverse, with probably 85% of our customers being Puerto Rican or from a neighboring island. I just wasn't the right guy, but I hope I inspire someone else to try it again. If I had a time machine, I'm pretty sure I wouldn't do it.
I never felt in competition with Sol (a Puerto Rican restaurant about 40 minutes away). There were only two Puerto Rican restaurants in the entire area. If there were like 10, I'd be competitive, but I'd always tell people who were out that way to go there. We need more Puerto Rican restaurants!
Now that you're a father and husband, how's that affected your music and career?
In a material sense, I have to think about how to make enough money to make sure my family is cool. There's that added pressure, but that's always been around for artists; balancing the creativity with supporting your family. Beyond that, it's been great being married. I love and respect who I am with, which has been a blessing. Being around such a strong woman has made me look at all women differently. We're equals, but I see her as the leader in our clan, and I'm a co-pilot. I've already written several songs about her. In the past 12 years, if I'm not writing about my mamma, I'm writing about her. Like when I was younger, I wrote specifically about my issues, now I write specifically about her. I think all women have the potential to be as great as this woman in my life. She's never claimed to be perfect and I love her as a whole person.
Being a father, has changed my whole outlook on life. If I had any remnants of pessimism in me, they're gone. Being a father has given me a new energy and motivation to keep doing what I'm
doing
and to stay right; on the path that was set for me. I always felt that
words were powerful and that they could change the flow of the world,
but having a child has made it undeniable. I'm much more careful about
what I say or what I put down in a verse. I've always felt compassion
for other people, especially young people, but having a child of my own
has led me to love all children as my own. That was a feeling that I
didn't expect. I never thought I could adopt because I feel that all
children deserve to be loved like they're flesh and blood and I didn't
think I could do it. Now, there's no difference between other children
and my own. I don't know how others feel, but I think the flesh and
blood thing is more about vanity; that they share our nose or look like
us, but that's really minute. When I write, I feel like I have to be
really careful of what I say as my children are listening, whether I
know them or not. I only want to speak positive and hope, of moving
forward. That's what I feel that we need.How has your relationship with own father shaped your interacts with your son?
I was raised by a stepfather, who was a wicked man. I don't even know how to describe him except he was a rotten human being. I learned how not to be. A lot of my interactions are acting the opposite of how he treated me. There are some things I'm working on and I know I have my default emotions. My stepfather was an angry man and I don't pressure my son to be anything he isn't. I won't put my hands on him or lose my temper to the point I'll do something I'll regret. I didn't grow up with a grudge against my real dad. My mother never bad mouthed him. She said that he was always talking to me, when I was in her stomach and when I was a baby he was always talking to me. He was around until I was about two and ½. She let me know that he really loved me.
When my wife was pregnant I carried that on and sang when my baby was in her womb. I carried that tradition on. When my dad and I reconnected when I was 19, I see that he's still like that. He'll kneel down and talk to a two year old. I even see it with my younger brothers. They call him "amigo." I mean, he sets boundaries and lays down the rules. There's no question he's the "dad," but he treats them with respect. I look at both of those examples, the good and bad and try to take from both. I'd go through the bad stuff again if it makes me a better father, to learn what not to do. I know now that one reason I didn't want to adopt was because I came from a home where my stepfather not only didn't love me, he didn't like me and tried to make me feel bad about who I was. By going through that, my son doesn't have to.
What does your mother think about your music since you've wrote so many songs about her, some of which are quite graphic about her experiences?
Anything I've ever put out about my Mom, I've always asked her permission first. I let her here it first. I never released anything in public until she was clean and got her life back on track. By the time you guys hear it, it's like the 10th version, that I heavily wrote with her in mind. Her attitude is like mine. We had to grow from these experiences and how people can learn from our experiences. She's not ashamed of her past and proud that she survived. She knows she's a role model for others going through hardships. That doesn't mean that she bumps every song about her. There's a song on "Stranger Than Fiction" that she can't get through. As a parent, I understand better, thinking about my son, reflecting on my mistakes. My mom is all about taking our experiences and turning them into medicine for someone else. Some songs about her are for me and working stuff out. Then other songs are about her experiences that I know about, understanding her struggle. Of course she made certain decisions that led to us living the life we did. She gets it. Some stuff is just too personal and I always get her OK. I'm working with her on her book. She's had an incredible life and people need to hear those stories.
When it's all said and done, what do you want to be your legacy?
At some level I know I've done my duty because I've been able to affect people in a positive way. If I could be remembered for anything, it's helping someone love themselves and their lives; helped changed someone's mind; to contributing, even if just a little bit, to the upliftment of people. A couple of years ago I did a show and their was a kid in the front, grilling me the whole time. He was bobbing his head and wouldn't take his eyes off of me. He wasn't jumping around and yelling, but he was really into it. Usually after a show I try to get out right away to chill and reflect on what just happened. I'm not a big club person. On this night, this kid tracked me down and stopped me. I was still trying to make my way to the car and he was like 'no, you don't understand me. I have your
first
album. I was 16 and I listened to it for a year straight. I listened to
what you said. I had times homies wanted to go out and do something and
I though about your songs and wouldn't go. They ended up getting
arrested. You helped shaped who I am." I hope that's the effect, but I
didn't' expect to see it. It's like being a teacher; you hope for
certain results, but you may never see them. You have to have faith
that your efforts aren't in vain. For me, it's moments like that when I feel like, "F platinum (selling million records)." I wouldn't exchange that feeling for anything; knowing that you impacted someone's life. I have a couple of stories like that. If I can keep doing that, I can rest in peace. I'd love for that to be a tradition; not just that "Rico was cool," but rather that my sons and daughters keep doing it. Everything else is selfish; all the ideas and things I want to do musically and creatively, that's just some other stuff. To go and touch people like Bob Marley or a Stevie Wonder, in hip hop, we haven't had that yet; to push humanity and the core of who we are. Hip hop is ready for that, we're mature enough. I want to contribute to that; to truth that transcends time and space
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